Everybody Else's Girl

Wishing I was over there
Where all the pretty girls are
But I am over here
in the Library is where I hid
Trying not to draw anyone's attention
Eating almost nothing
Starving myself in hopes
That someone would see
But no one did
I was 50 pounds underweight
And my mom just said
"You look so pretty!"
But I knew better
I was ugly inside
And everyone else
could see it.
So they stayed away,
And I lost my mind slowly,
At first,
Then a total annihilation  
Of my mind came.
I went into the hospital,
No not one for physically sick people,
One for the mentally ill.
I was in restraints almost every night.
I wouldn't eat.
Then I was raped by an orderly
Who eventually got caught,
and put on trial...
but it was 13 years too late.
So I became even uglier on the inside,
And I lost hope.
All that was me had gone.
it all happened like Tori said,
"Sit in the chair and be good now,
Try to remember all that we told you,
The white coats entered the room,"
But
there was no one there calling me back.
I literally was "Everybody Else's Girl".
i was "his" rape victim,
i was the one no one talked about
in my family
i was the problem girl
"restraints girl"
i was crazy girl
but i was never
MY OWN girl